Day 118: Valentine’s Day Poems for Breaking Up with Your Significant Other (Results May Vary)

Rose are red

Violets are blue

This day sucks

And so do you

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Our relationship

Like the passing of summer

Gone and forgotten

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Love

What is it?

I once thought it was holding hands

Walks and laying on the couch on Saturday afternoons

But the Beatles have taught me more

What they said

Is not you

Love

The End

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Oh, pretty girl there

Is that you I see?

I really like your hair

Most definitely

We’ve had some great times

It’s been a blast

Tequila with limes

What a past

But I think we should talk

You’re really great

Let’s take a walk

It’s getting late

The stars are pretty

And so are you

I know this is shitty

I feel like poo

We need to break up

For now and ever

I don’t want to make up

Goodbye forever

You think it’s been swell?

I disagree

I think it’s been hell

For eternity

Please don’t cry

It’s not you, it’s me

Okay, I'll give it one more try

Hang on, I have to pee

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Author's Note #1: A recent study that I just made up shows that breaks up are ten times more effective when the breaker gives the break-ee a terrible poem to show just how little they care.