Day 12: I’m Living on the 4 Month Pasta Diet and I Feel Great!

Seriously, I am eating pasta right now. I ate pasta five minutes ago and two hours ago and two days ago and two weeks ago and two months ago. Some of you may know that my favorite food is spaghetti. There is a toss-up between which kind of spaghetti is the best: Mom’s or Grandma’s. I’ll never decide, nor do I need to because they are both amazing. You don’t get a vote.

What was I talking about?

Oh, yes. Pasta. I have eaten so many boxes of penne and spaghetti in the past two months a normal person would have given the rest of my stash away to the locals. I have consumed pasta at least once a day nearly every day since I’ve been out here. My inventory from now until December 20th is 7 boxes of penne and 5 more boxes of spaghetti. That means that I have to eat nearly two boxes of pasta a week for seven weeks. It can be done.

Also, I have 19 cans of soup (tomato, chicken noodles), 8 cans of Chunky soup, three cans of Spam, 22 packs of Easy Mac, 6 more boxes of Triscuits, 2 large boxes of Gold Fish, 3 bags of rice, and an assortment of canned vegetables. I eat the same as a slightly healthy college student. And technically, I am still in college, so you can’t say anything.

Surprisingly, for as poor of a diet that I have been consuming (all of it mixed with cafeteria food), I don’t feel as bad as I would have expected. My belly still grumbles a lot, but I think that has to do with my coffee habit. Or perhaps dairy. Who knows?

Anywho, for any of you gluten-free peeps or those of you that are cursing at me because of your own no-carb diet and I just made you hungry for some junk food, I do apologize. You are missing out.

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Author’s Note #1: I can’t wait to eat a giant salad...right before I eat a giant slice of pizza and drink a giant beer.

Author’s Note #2: Food sometimes dictates our moods. I find that my productivity and my sense of self-worth dictate mine. You can praise salads, but don’t hate on Pizza Rolls.

Author's Note #3: I take it back. All of a sudden I feel an existential crisis coming on. Maybe it was the sauce.