Day 199: Revenge of Fifth: A Quick Review of the Second Star Wars Trilogy

If you want my general opinion about the entire Star Wars saga, read yesterday’s post. It wasn’t as concise as I would prefer in order for you to reread it here. I know you wouldn't anyway.

On with it!

(I apologize in advance that these are not “quick” reviews like the title directly states. They are as quick as a nerd can describe an epic saga.)

Episode I: The Phantom Menace

I must keep in mind that I was still young when I saw this movie for the first time. It was 7th grade to be exact. And a new Star Wars movie had not been released in sixteen years, three years before I was born. The anticipation and hype for this movie were insurmountable for the time period. I doubt any movie premiere will carry the weight that the Phantom Menace had to endure, both in a good and bad way. To wit: I loved the movie and still love the movie. Yes, it has its flaws: namely young Anakin’s acting and the abhored Jar Jar Binks. Other than those two, ultimately minor, setbacks in this semi-harsh movie critic’s opinion, Phantom Menace stands out as possibly my second favorite movie out of the saga to watch.

For starters, we get to witness the origin of Darth freaking Vader as a child! How freaking cool is that! The movie poster alone still gives me chills, with Anakin walking with his backpack and his shadow is a silhouette of Vader. It just gets me pumped thinking about it.

Anyways, the pod race was arguably the best vehicle action scene in the entire saga. And nothing like that has been repeated in the saga or in any other movie franchise. It's all good: the creativity behind the energy beams, the characters, the vast differentiating design of the pods, the tracks, the sand people still being dicks for no reason, and the tension! Oh, the tension. We all knew that Anakin was going to win somehow, but it still keeps me on the edge of my seat.

The story is brand new to the audience. The CGI is excellent. And Ewen McGregor gets to play Obi-Wan Kenobi, possibly the most important character in the entire saga.

Two words. One name. Double lightsaber. Darth Maul. My mind was blown! The lightsaber battle at the end is hands-down the best battle in the entire saga. Two Jedis versus Darth Maul with a double lightsaber, jumping up and down a crazy endless pit with intermittent catwalks and a very odd security system that leads to another endless pit (Sidenote: the construction workers a long, long time ago really didn’t have safety in mind when constructing space stations. Maybe that’s why all the stormtroopers have to wear full mask helmets.) The musical score (Duel of the Fates by John Williams) in the background of this fight scene that jumps back and forth with the droid battle happening outside is a superb piece of art on the level of Beethoven and Mozart. I’m listening to it right now. It’s so good, I can’t even write… (Read the next paragraph and then watch it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvvAftMZYKM)

Oh, and when you watch the fight, notice the choreographing between Ewan McGregor (Obi-Wan) and Ray Park (Darth Maul). They worked their butts off to be able to stage a fight that good. We don’t get to see another lightsaber fight of that caliber until Episode III.

The largest unfortunate downside to the Phantom Menace is that Darth Maul “dies” at the end. I know he doesn’t actually die because he reappears in The Clone Wars cartoon series and at the end of Solo. But he had the potential to be a better villain than Darth Vader, easily. Instead, we got old man Count Dooku…

Episode II: Attack of the Clones

The ending of this movie is the only thing that saved it. It is easily the worst movie in the entire franchise. The love sequence is terribly edited. The acting is awful among several actors and actresses. Most notably, Hayden Christensen stunk up this movie with his overacting and whiny teenage arrogance. You can blame that on the actor, the writers, or the director. It doesn’t matter to me. It was bad.

As I said, the only thing that saved this movie was the ending with the massive Jedi fight scene in the arena and Yoda pulling out a can of whoop-ass on Count Dooku. Before that moment, we only knew Yoda as the passive, wise-as-f Jedi master that wielded a cane used only for knocking padawans on the head. This little green monkey force-pulls his green lightsaber from his robe and announces that he has to battle his padawan. Then Yoda proceeds to do more flips than an Olympic acrobat on crack, doing circles around Dooku. But Yoda is still unable to defeat Dooku because he has to save Obi-Wan and one-armed Anakin from a pile of boulders. Dooku would have been a fantastic Sith to kill off. I think we would have all been okay with that.

Oh yeah, and we couldn’t get a better villain than some lame-ass old dude with a crooked lightsaber and monotoned emotions? Seriously? You went from Darth Maul to Count Dooku. Cheese and flipping rice! Thank God he dies at the beginning of Episode III.

Episode III: The Revenge of the Sith

This movie carries the same feel for me as Return of the Jedi. It’s the end of the trilogy. It’s epic. All the pieces are moving into place, and instead of seeing Darth Vader become good, we get to see his evil birth. What a ride it is.

Again, this movie does carry similar flaws of Episode II with its acting, editing, and some story choices, but the end overshadows all those flaws.

General Grievous was a nice addition to the movies. We got back our multi-lightsaber wielding Sith that we had been missing since Darth Maul fell down that endless hole like a paper doll. There is a lot of missing storyline between Ep. II and III, but the audience can easily accept that. Anakin has a scar and there is some backstory banter between him and Obi-Wan. The writing was done well on that front. The viewer may not have all the pieces that the Clone Wars cartoon will fill in three years later, but we understand that Grievous is a badass that needs to be dealt with immediately. And by the colors of his lightsabers, we know he’s killed a few Jedi. So sad. What a great enemy.

Anyways, the story arc of this movie is good. If the acting and writing was a little bit better we could really believe Anakin when he does some more whining and makes illogical choices based on his assumptions that the Jedi are evil. Yes, the Dark Side is very pretty. It’s pretty enough to kill Samuel L. Jackson and kick the only purple lightsaber in the galaxy out the window. Such a disappointment. Also, the Emperor makes force lightning a little too sexual. It's weird.

Back to the ending. As I stated, the choreographed fight scene between Anakin (now Darth Vader) and Obi-Wan is excellent. The tension, the setting, and the overall action of the scene make that pivotal moment of the saga that much better. I will forever get chills when Obi-Wan cries, “You were my brother, Anakin. I loved you.” The heartbreak is almost unbearable. But then we all know what happens in the end.

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So, there is another three movies down. In the spirit of trilogies, I will be posting a review of the most recent Star Wars trilogy tomorrow.