Day 359: Dents and Dingers

Cutting a bagel just right

Stubbing your toe on a snapping turtle

Skipping a stone during a tsunami and getting like fifty skips

Skydiving and having your parachute pants rip

Finding a heads up penny after leaving prison

Discovering that the Earth is flat while longboarding

Having your wish of rain to come true

Dreaming of a monster sandwich for lunch and discovering only the end pieces left in the bread bag

Waking up one day and discovering that your pants are too big because you’ve been working out

Waking up one day and discovering that your pants are too big because you’ve been in a coma for ten years

Having your favorite song play randomly while you are shopping at Target and singing aloud Down with the Sickness

Forgetting the grocery item you told your wife you would never forget

Finding a long lost twenty dollar bill in the pants you haven’t washed in years

Taking a wrong turn twice

Bumping into an old enemy on the street and forgetting why you despised them

Watching the stars in an open field on a clear summer night and having a bat crap on your forehead

Taking a deep breath after being stuffed up for a week

Mending the heart with glue made from your ex

Flipping an egg from the pan in the air for the first time without breaking the yolk

Scratching the brand new CD by Will Smith, Big Willie Style

Playing putt-putt and getting a hole in one on number 19

Dropping your keys in the sewer but hoping that the Ninja Turtles will one day return them

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